Free will

I am republishing this post, as a form or blog-recycling – an idea I caught on from Wise Donkey’s blog (click). Coincidentally, tomorrow happens to also be the anniversary of my blog, and the time this post was published for the first time. I have edited the post a bit. This was the first post I had actually published on this blog.

Following is a blog I had originally posted at yahoo 360:

I was replying to one of the offbeat queries on rxpgonline.com, and the reply turned out so long that I thought, better I convert it into a blog. But again, I am surprised that this world has been a crucible of such great minds at work (thinking being the work of a mind), that ultimately, however much I try, it is not possible to think a thought that has not been thought before! So, many of the opinions that I had developed on my own, I learned, are already established schools in philosophy!

I will not post the query because of reasons related to copyright issues, but the gist of it was “if we decide anything really on our own volition, or are we predetermined to make those decisions”.

Here’s my response:

————-

Let me refine what you have called thoughts and emotions. Fortunately, we as medicos are in better positions to understand that both thoughts and emotions arise out of neurotransmission across synapses through very complex neural networks. What is important here, though is not the complexity of networks, but that the process that gives rise to thoughts and emotions is as simplistic  and physical as action potential giving rise to or inhibiting action potential elsewhere (synaptic inhibition or facilitation).

The feeling we get while we make a choice is that it is “I” who is deciding to do a particular thing, and not opt an alternative choice, and had I wanted, I “could” have made the other choice. The question is: do we really make choices that were not determined by past events? To make this question clear, I would have to give an example:

Think of someone breaking a frame in a game of pool. There are 10 balls that are struck with the cue ball, and immediately at the moment of impact all of them scatter away. To the untrained human eye, this is quite a chaotic event, but everyone would agree that with our modern technology, if the force, spin and direction of the cue ball, the masses of other balls, the properties of the reflecting walls, and the properties of the surface of the pool table would be known, we can definitely predict with amazing degree of accuracy where each ball on the table would end up after a finite amount of time. So in that sense the fate of each ball was predetermined by their mutual positions, the speed and direction with which the cue ball would impact them (force), the properties of the various surfaces and the time of impact. So, if the pool table were a closed system (where no external force could act), we would be the best astrologers! We could foretell everything that the pool balls would ever want to “know” about their future! And, add to it the fact that it is you who would be hitting at those cue balls. So in that sense, you are the one who is determining the fates of those balls. But, the way you are determining their fate is very “physical“. If I were to tell you that try to change the course of the balls only by power of your mind (without actually touching them or using a physical force), and you would know that it would be impossible, unless  and of course you are a firm believer of psychokinesis (click).

Now let us shift the same pool table to within our brain, and think of all the vesicles holding neurotransmitter molecules as those balls. Our emotions, thoughts, memories, all are a result of which neurons “fire” at what time. So, if real free will were to exist, we should be able to “control” (unknowingly) the particular neurons so as to make them release a particular neurotransmitter at a particular point in time in a particular quantity. The issue is can we really do all that with our “will”, which is nothing, but again, a result of activity of the same neurons containing the said neurotransmitters? Well, I am not sure of the answer. Though, going by the physics of it, the answer seems like “no”. No, we cannot make the molecules of neurotransmitters behave the way we want them to. So, each time you are deciding between a yellow dress or a white one, and even if you decide after full five minutes of pondering that you want the yellow one, it could be only because the neuron that was to trigger your decision fired at that moment (after five minutes), because of pre-set conditions, and not because of your thought-processes. So, this sounds very gloomy, indeed, that everything we do is predetermined, and more importantly, out of our control. But, when I gave the example of pool balls, I was talking of classical physics, which holds true only at a very gross level. If somehow, instead of 10 pool balls, 10 neutrons (and not neurons) were to be placed in a frame, and then hit with a “cue neutron”, we will not be able to predict the trajectories of any of the neutrons, forget all the ten neutrons together. There are too many issues. Firstly, quantum physics does not allow any particle to be absolutely still – it has to oscillate with what is called a finite amount of “zero point energy” (the minimum energy that a particle has to possess, which equals hv/2, h=Planck’s constant, and v is the frequency of oscillation of the particle). Secondly, the the Heisenberg’s principle of uncertainty, does not allow precise knowledge of positions of the particles and their momentum at the same time. But, what happens in real life is that the “amount of uncertainty” remains constant even with a large assembly of particles, but since the assemblies these particles become are so large that any uncertainty gets buffered by the practical and acceptable approximations of their momentum and position. So, the uncertainty principle somehow does not apply to the day-to-day “bulky” objects and situations. Hence our neurotransmitter molecules, and even more so, the vesicles that hold them, are on the borderline of being big and small enough to obey the uncertainty principle. Their courses and positions are somewhat predictable and yet, somehow unpredictable.

But, what is the implication of this knowledge of uncertainty principle to our discussion? What it implies is that at least the course of the neurotransmitter vesicles in our brains cannot be determined with complete accuracy, and hence, cannot be predicted. And, so the decisions that a person makes are not completely predictable. But, the issue of being “able” to alter the course of or effect the emptying of a particular vesicle in a particular neuron at a given time without a physical force though, remains as it is.

Of course, I know it is very difficult to even digest the possibility: that the emotions that we feel to be so real, or the feeling of “choosing”, which is another name for freedom/liberty, could all be illusory. One of the possibilities of why we feel this illusion could be a specialized center in the brain that “witnesses” all the activities in the neurons. And these activities get registered as thoughts. We witness a live broadcast of our own thoughts (which are not exactly out of volition, but determined by the pre-set conditions), and we get a feeling that we are somehow effecting those thoughts, possibly because the time lag between the moment when a thought “arises” and it is “registered” could be very short.

So, I would recommend that one try while buying a dress, bargaining the price pointing out:

“It’s not me who wants to buy the dress, it’s just the neurons; I’m compelled by their preset conditions,. I cannot help it. So could you please give me a discount, at least if not give it away for free?” 

But, I would warn here that the shopkeeper’s response need not be that philosophical!!!

PS: A very pertinent discussion had also occurred at my other blog, here (click). Also, I request the reader to go through all the comments as they had been quite illuminating.

“Don’t know, yet” is the first step to gaining further knowledge

Possibly, the simplest-worded summary of how traditional religions and naturalism have treated mysteries and new knowledge differently – in particular, to be found in the last paragraph. It is a very short post and will take only around 5 min to read.

Search Judaism – A Critique: Part Two (II) – (Click)

How Morality is Indispensable to a Social Life

This post had started as a response to one of the comments by Darshan, whose ideas and blog-posts (click) I really enjoy and also recommend to other readers who appreciate critical thinking. The reasons I am publishing this response as a separate blog post are: because the response is too long; I would not like other readers to miss out on ideas earned after hard sessions of thinking, and lastly, because I any way wanted to discuss these issues some times on my blog. It just so happens that now this post will serve as an appropriate launching pad. So ultimately, obviously, this post does not merely remain a response to Darshan’s comments, but is a post with his ideas as the backdrop.

Obviously, since this post is fundamentally a reaction rather than an essay, I am not giving a much elaborate background. Darshan’s comment (click) was as follows:

“This might sound irrelevant to you.

First of all, I do not believe in the established concept of morality, which is perfectly human-centered. In my concept of morality stealing, lying, money, robbery and society, these are so petty issues that are not even visible to me. There are much much bigger issues facing existence!

In fact this entire affair is something which does not affect me. It is so HUMAN-SPECIFIC!!! As far as any such thing is concerned, I find myself in the game again. So whatever decisions I take by whim in the game, is neither right nor wrong.

I might save the one who stole in this case, for example; Or I might sometime also think that one human less is good for the planet Depends on the mood I am in at the moment!“

Now I urge readers to exercise restrain in drawing any untoward conclusions about how Darshan as a person is. This discussion between him and me is at an ideological-philosophical level, and his comment must not be construed to think that he reaches decisions in his life exactly in the same fashion as might seem from the comment. In my interactions I have found him to be very agreeable and rational and not at all inclined to hurt someone deliberately. The only reason I am quoting this comment here is to put forth the context in which my post had materialized. As to what he means by a “game” would become clear from his post called – How to attain bliss without being in Himalayas? (click).

I am quoting the lines that I feel are pertinent, but yet I encourage the reader to go through the actual post for two reasons – that there should be no “loss in translation” in my quoting something selectively, and also because the post is a well thought out one and well written.

“…Now consider your life as a game. You are the main protagonist in this game. There are innumerable stages in this game like childhood, schooling, adulthood, love, work, marriage, divorce, riches, poverty etc. Through all the stages in the game there are things like making friends and enemies; pain and pleasures; love and hatred. You earn points when you make friends. Lose points when you make enemies. Earned love, earned points. Lost love, lost points. Consider points as a measure of happiness. That’s how a game works. Human life has endless possibilities of occurrences. All the things which happen in your favor add to your points and those occurrences against you reduce the points. When you succeed through the tasks you jump up in happiness with “Whoa!” and “Wow!” and when you lose you throw the joystick with “Oh fuck!” and “Shit!”“…

…“But after all, it’s a game, not the real life. What you experience in the “game world” is left behind when you are done playing the game and return in your “real world”. Happenings of the “game world” can not affect your behavior in the “real world”, unless you are so obsessed with the game that you have lost your mind and the realization that the two worlds are different.“

Also, my response is not an attempt to contradict or disregard Darshan’s personal views, which I do not share, but do not even disagree with. This is because, in some areas of life, what views we hold are just our personal preferences, possibly based on factors like nurture, genetics, life-experiences, personality, etc., and however hard we try, we cannot justify them on a rational basis. This in turn happens because, the fundamental axioms in life like “what is the purpose of my life?” or “what is the purpose behind the existence of the human race or the Universe?”, etc. cannot be answered in fashion, which we all would agree with. It is how we (especially, in the given case, Darshan and I) answer these questions differently, that have led to the differences in our opinion, and at the outset I wish to clarify that I do not consider either Darshan or my answers to either of the above questions as more correct or less correct, because there is no established or agreed upon standard to gauge their “correctness” against. My frank confession that my views are more of preferences, rather than absolute “correct” manner of looking at the issues would, I hope, be amply visible in my response, which is as follows:

—–

Darshan,

There is no rational reason I could convince you to be more emotionally engaged with humanity and its affairs, or for me to justify my being engaged thus, but what you said was alarming! This is not to offend you, but nor to downplay what I felt reading what you wrote.

It is to your credit, you have made me think something slightly more deeply, making me reach this philosophical conclusion that yet again that there is nothing really very rational that can make me urge one to choose to be moral.

Morality (click) stems from human concepts of ‘ownership’ and ‘rights’ (as in adhikaar). So yes, morality becomes operational only when one accepts a certain framework of these human conceptions of ‘ownership’ and ‘right’. Integrally attached with both the concepts is another human conception of “deserving”, which is the most nebulous, and hence, difficult to define. And that is why we all differ in what one “deserves” – usually, we are most predisposed to feel what we ‘enjoy’, we deserve, and what we do not enjoy, we do not deserve. Which is what introduces the subjectivity and consequent liberal bias in assessing our own motives and actions. And, so it becomes imperative to decide upon certain mutually agreed upon criteria to delineate what is deserved by whom.

I yet again concede, I have no rational reason to assert that this framework should be applied only to humans, and why other sentient living beings (especially, mammals that are so similar to how humans are) should be excluded. Partly because, animals cannot talk back to us, as to what they want. No, this is not an excuse to be cruel to them, but the psychological reason why this “we” (humans) v/s “them” (non-humans) kind of communalism (click) operates in our minds.

My feeling greater solidarity for humans as compared to other species, or “nonliving” parts of the “nature”, can be considered a form of communalism, and hence is unjustified. The best possible justification (or rather, my double standards), you could find is here:

Ball of Karma (click). Do read comment #16 onwards if you are short of time, otherwise, I believe the entire debate is entertaining, if not enlightening!

…somehow humans take precedence in deciding upon moral issues. If someone asks me why?, I would say it is a very sophisticated form of herd-mentality. That I feel greater solidarity for those who resemble me than those who do not (this line of argument is extremely risk-fraught when it comes to interhuman interactions, I know!). And animals have never really cared for us humans, or for each other (sounds stupid, but is a valid argument because only sometime back we were talking of putting animals on same pedestal as humans). They have killed us humans for their food or to protect their shelter. So we can do the same to fulfill our ‘needs’.

‘Needs’ is another contentious term. Is the desire to live a fulfilling, happy life a ‘need’? Is the desire to see one of our relatives not die of AIDS/cancer/malaria – a need? Is the desire to not suffer from painful rheumatoid arthritis and debilitating kidney disorders and diabetes – a need? Is the desire to not suffer from irritating common cold – a need?

Please see, in all the 3 examples, there is a gradual downscaling of threat to human life. While very few would disagree that we would be alright with killing of a few thousand animals, if the outcome (cure) for the said disease is able to save millions of human lives. The problem comes when discussing animal experiments for treatment of ’simpler’ disorders, which are not immediately life-threatening. But then the question would arise – what ‘level’ of threat to human life do we use to justify animal experiments?

So well, at least practicality dictates that we must not infringe on others’ (humans’) “rights”, for instance, right to live, because then they can also attempt to do the same, and we all might suffer pain or death. Of course, I myself have stated on your blog that it would not be “bad” in ‘absolute’ terms if the entire human species or the Earth itself are wiped out, but in a ‘subjective’ sense, I want to live, and I am afraid of death! Possibly, this fear is an outcome of natural selection through genetic mutations, but then the fact remains, I am responsive and subservient to such a fear. I am also responsive and subservient to desire to feel happy [differences between 'happiness' and 'contentment' are hazy; I will have to think a lot about them]. Provisionally, I can define happiness as a mental state I would like to remain in, and not lose. So, talking of the original post that led you here, while everyone prioritizes the (self-assigned) purposes of life differently, directly or indirectly human happiness does figure somewhere at the top of everyone’s ‘agenda’ for life. No other human-assigned purpose would be able to stake that claim – not, living for the country; nor, living for poor; nor, living for endangered species; nor, living for a single (as in, everyone devoting life to a common) religion; nor, living to set exemplary behavior. And even if someone defines something else as the purpose of their life, say, attaining salvation, they do it in belief that salvation will bring them happiness (as defined above).

But since, we humans have to co-exist in space and time, and share the same resources amongst us in our attempts to achieve our purposes (whatever they be), we have to distribute them in most pragmatic fashion possible – such that such distribution minimizes conflicts (which will cause pain, which majority of people want to avoid) and satisfy maximum number of people’s desire to be happy (the way they feel it could be fulfilled). And as I said before, it is the limitation in resources and unavoidable interpersonal interactions that make us define every person’s rights, authority and what they do or do not deserve.

Just as you pointed out, these concepts are merely human constructs, and hence not binding on you, and I agree. But if all actions were to depend on what one’s “mood” is, for instance, what will prevent one from slapping a random person in a bus or raping a random woman in a secluded place? I am sure you must have not done either of the two things, but the questions is what prevented you or will prevent you if you feel like doing it? Or will nothing be able to stop you from doing so once you feel the urge?

So personally, I do think a lot about these (morals, ethics, justice, etc.) issues, precisely because I do find myself deeply engaged in human affairs. Though I have the option of not doing so, by two possible mechanisms – living in some secluded area totally by myself, and hence doing away with all sort of morality OR by committing suicide. I am afraid of both the options, as I pointed out in my response in the Conflusions-post (click), and moreover I have am enjoying my current mode of living; abiding to moral principles is hardly a challenge for me. So, I choose to live by the standards set by the society (morality) because I am living amidst society. Living amidst society is always following our agreeing to an unwritten contract, and that contract is what morality is. If one chooses to disregard these contracts, they instantly lose the right to live a life dependent on fellow human beings. And hence, either such people have to be removed from society because of their incompatibility in coexisting with others (death sentence) or punished (conviction by courts) or of course, the third option – that they live in some secluded place without interacting with any other human being (exile). But then, that they breach certain clauses (rules and regulations) of the contract with the knowledge that –> doing so invites the consequences they had agreed to –> by way of choosing to live in a manner they would depend on others –> they automatically become deserving of the punishment they had agreed to in the first place by breaching the the terms of the contract. For instance, a person committing rape in India becomes deserving of punishment as defined in the section 376 of the Indian Penal Code (click), because he had consented to be punished the moment he rapes a woman while being a part of India (Indian citizenship). This was all law and justice.

You might but ask, what if someone does not want to enter this contract of interpersonal interactions? Why force someone to enter interpersonal interactions? But the problem is no human being at birth is independent. The moment one accepts nurture from one’s parents, and wears clothes made by another human being, or eats food prepared with another human’s labor, they inadvertently put their seal on the contract of the society called morality. And hence for these “reasons” I do not think it is possible to escape consideration of moral issues.

[With this my response to Darshan practically ends; what follows is the ideas built opon what I just presented]

But of course, the next question could be who gets to decide these set of rules? And more importantly, what are the bases of such rules? It is here, the (supposedly) most widely agreed upon principle of maximizing human happiness and minimizing human pain that comes to fore. We all humans might not always agree as to what constitutes legal, ethical, moral ”etiquetted”, etc., but if we define some “minimum possible standards”, we will at least have a rational framework to work within. These could also be termed as “moral axioms”, as in they have no other underlying bases, except that (assuming and hoping) highest number of people in the World agree upon them. I will enlist the most significant moral axioms here:

1. Every human is equal and has same rights at birth.

2. Every human at birth has an equal right to live.

3. Fulfilling the desire to be happy is one of the fundamental goals, and every human at birth has equal right to be happy.

4. Fulfilling the desire to avoid pain is one of the fundamental goals, and every human at birth has equal right to avoid pain.

5. Everyone should try to reach decisions on any issue such that, as far as possible, none of the above principles are violated.

I believe, a large part of what we instinctively think of as moral or immoral (and also, legal, ethical, honorable – or not so) can be accounted for by above principles. Of course, I am no expert in philosophy of ethics, morality and law, but at least this serves as a good starting point. I also believe, if some societal impositions or government-sanctioned laws do not fit into the above framework, then they make a good case for a closer scrutiny. For instance, what in the above framework would make consensual homosexuality immoral/unethical/illegal? Or for that matter, euthanasia? Slightly more contentious would be issues like abortion. Likewise, issue of death penalty would be most contentious. The “at birth”-part finds repeated mention to allow for some other concepts like “deserving” and unequal “ownership” (say, owing to one’s hard work) to apply, which could lead to subsequent inequality. Additionally for instance, if the established law punishes a convict, the punishment might go against their rights to live, be happy and to avoid pain. But to ensure practical functionality of the entire framework, we have to also admit the possibility some people will not honor point number 5, and hence this dishonor makes them eligible for predetermined punishment. And of course, a very touchy issue of what is a “right” as against what is an “opportunity” has not been addressed here. For example in our contemporary society, despite having same rights, do children respectively born to poor and rich parents get equal opportunity to healthy diet and good education? How do we tackle such moral issues? I would be discussing these issues also in one of my subsequent posts, but then they cannot be covered in limited space.

So to end this post, I just want to point out that the instinctive ideas of moral, ethical, and appropriateness of government-sanctioned laws, etc., are very difficult to scrutinize on a firmly rational bases, but the point is they can be! And at least, we have to make an attempt to do so. If we stop looking for “reasons” to regard something as moral v/s immoral, we would be entertaining moral arbitrariness (and hence, “relativism”) as an acceptable criterion. Once that happens, it is only downhill course for the collective human happiness from that point. And also that reason cannot be “someone said so” (scripture-directed morality), because what would be valid reason would not be that someone said so, but the reason as to why someone said what they said. As long as we are living in the human society, it becomes binding upon us to think over moral issues. The moment we lose our commitment to morality, we lose our right to live amidst with other human beings.

—–

One recommendation:

Read this extremely well-explained and argued blog-post by Professor McCormick – Open the Floodgates (click), where he demonstrates why exclusively faith cannot be used to believe in the existence of God without committing intellectual dishonesty.

One request:

Kindly visit a copy of this blog I have prepared at WordPress (click). This is just an experiment. I may or may not shift to WordPress. Currently, it is unlikely that I switch over to WordPress because it does not allow customization of CSS of blog-templates. Of course, the only attractive feature of WordPress over Blogger is their comment-system, which might eventually win me over if I get into an ‘aggressive’ mode of blogging.

Missing Marble’s Mystery

A box labeled – “MARBLE THE GREAT INSIDE” is examined. There was no sound on shaking it. It was opened – no marble could be seen.

……
1.

1.1. That the box exists attests to the fact that Marble created it, so there must be Marble inside as declared by the label.

1.2. Ears are not reliable. There must be Marble inside.

1.3. Eyes are not reliable. There must be Marble inside.

1.4. Why would someone lie about Marble? I might find it, if I search “properly”. There must be Marble inside.

1.5. If I don’t say Marble is great or eat chocolates now, Marble might eat me after killing me. Why take chance?

1.6. If I say, Marble is great, it might give me chocolates after killing me. Why not take chance?

1.7. Marble is Great!

…This was Marbleism.

……
2.

2.1. There is no sound on shaking the box. There is no marble inside.

2.2. I couldn’t see a marble on opening the box. There is no marble inside.

2.3. It’s possible to write anything on the label. If I want, I can erase and write “SPOON THE GREAT INSIDE”. It doesn’t mean there has to be a spoon inside.

2.4. What’s written on the label is false.

2.5. I’ll try to grow chocolates and eat them to my heart’s content before I die.

2.6. To find anything, I use exactly the same method to as I used to find the marble.

2.7. While it is possible for a marble, or for that matter even a spoon to be inside a box, there is no marble in the box given to me.

…This was Amarbleism.

……
3.

3.1. Absence of sound on shaking the box doesn’t totally rule out the possibility that there could be Marble inside.

3.2. Not being able to see the Marble despite being able to see the box doesn’t rule out the possibility that there could be Marble inside.

3.3. People can write things on a label – they can either be true or false.

3.4. Had the label talked of a spoon inside the box, I wouldn’t have taken any time to conclude that it was false. But Marble is to be accorded special status.

3.5. I’m not sure if there is Marble inside or not.

3.6. Not sure if Marble will get angry if I grow and eat chocolates while alive.

…This was Agnosticism.

Another Blog

Hello readers!

Yesterday I started another parallel blog called Conflusions (click), where I will be mainly noting down some of the conclusions drawn about life. In contrast with the current blog, thoughts there will be most succinct, and not written in an explanatory tone.

You are invited to take a look.

Cheers!

iBubble. The Perfect Sphere. The Perfect Hollow.

Sometimes I understand others in terms of how they are similar to me. Other times I understand them in terms of how they are different from me. There is no other way to understand others. Comparisons are imminent.

If I understand myself, still I might not understand someone else correctly, for some contamination of data would distort my perception.

But, if I do not understand myself, there is no chance I can understand others.

The key to understanding others is to understand myself, first.

I am the common denominator in how the World is. If not for me, nothing would ever make sense in this World.

But understanding myself is an ongoing process. Partly because I am complex. Partly because I keep on changing. I cannot suspend the process of understanding others in the meantime.

After all, life has to go on, if it is to stop some other day.

And hence, everything I do, every thought I think has a purpose.

LOL!

Simple! Isn’t it?

So…

iBubble had burst?

OR

I burst Bubble?

…Would depend upon if you are a prick just like me, or if you are not a prick unlike me.

Told you, comparisons are imminent!

Majority

Majority’s are the amplified views of the select, influential (manipulative) few.

Probably, that is why most of the views on any issue could be clubbed into few categories (corresponding to the number of factions pushing a particular view).

Of course, another reason could be the limited number of opinions that could be formed on any issue. For instance, response to 2 + 2? would be unique, i.e., 4. But, it is a fact, and not ‘view’.

But responses to “Do you like vanilla ice cream?”, fall in three main categories–’yes’, ‘no’, and ‘neutral’. Again, this is an individual taste, and one’s choice would not have a significant impact on our society. Importantly, the choice does not come bundled with an ‘ought’ or ‘ought not’ (‘O/ON’).

But there are issues, where O/ON does get typically involved, and fall in the domains of law and judiciary, public policy, resource allocation especially when limited, etc.

Simple examples of passionate polarization of opinions would be. Should we allow:

1. Sale of alcohol?

2. Research on and sale of genetically modified food?

The ‘most accepted’ benchmark to reach a decision is: the fraction of all people having one view v/s other contending views. We call the largest fraction ‘majority’.

The idea seems appealing. Since childhood, we are told of virtues of a majority’s decision, and the power it wields.

When a child does something wrong, and if the explanation is ‘he also did the same’, our common retort is ‘if he jumps in a well, would you also jump?’ Good argument. But when the defense is ‘everyone does it’, we do not ask, ‘if everyone jumps into the well, would you jump?’. This is owing to a deep seated prejudice that majority is always right.

Majority would be right, especially in issues of public interest, if it would:

1. Have access to adequate information to base opinion on.

2. Be ethical to place justice above personal gains.

3. Not be blinded by communal affiliations–religion, region, gender, etc,

4. Have sufficient wisdom to understand all the factors, and weigh them accordingly.

5. Be immune to influence by propaganda.

How often are all the criteria met?

I am unable to propose an alternative way to reach decisions in matters of O/ON, but we should stop considering decisions reverentially, only because they would have been reached by a majority.

States of Matter. State that matters – An Explanation. And a joke!

This is the explanation for my previous post – States of Matter. State that matters. (click)

I do not believe in writing ambiguous posts, especially as part of the reason I write is to know how others and I view the same things differently. I believe, if not most, some people do have reasons for what they become/what they choose to become. And when the same things are viewed differently, it gives all the parties involved a chance to review what their belief systems are, and what are they based on. At the ‘end’ of the discussion, one may emerge more confident of the views held priorly, or less so. One may also feel insecure of new ideas if they threaten to upset the equilibrium of their life, which usually is very difficult to achieve, and this is probably also what contributes to the inertia we experience in reviewing and imbibing new ideas, apart of course, from the fact that whatever we currently know/think would be outcomes of numerous experiences, mistakes and rewards, which consolidate our confidence in our ‘own’ ideas. So with this short preface I seek to establish that on my blog, I wish to be understood precisely, and to understand the contributors equally precisely, though it will only rarely so happen that I change someone’s views, or someone, mine.

The only reason I had not included this explanation was the constraint of length of 18 SMSes. Also I did not want to dilute the spontaneity of my ideas by inserting technical explanations for abstract analogies, for it is ever so rare that I come out with posts, which I feel rather than think. I had planned to clarify the analogies as a part of my replies to comments, but I realized, I needed to also come up with a detailed explanation of what I meant through each analogy.

—–

Fluid. By ‘fluid’ I did not mean weak or flexible. For one talks of flexibility only when there is a shape one could identify with.

By gradients of availability, I meant rushing in for things only because they are available. An avarice for things without pausing to think if we want/need them or possessing them would make us any happier.

A simplistic, but illustrative example is weddings, where so many times people take so much ice cream that they cannot finish it. Mind you, I am not talking here of etiquette, or health hazards of gluttony, or wastage of food, which are separate issues in themselves, but of a weird kind of opportunism. An opportunism that does not even serve our interest! But the sheer pleasure of enjoying something unearned, and probably undeserved (which is contentious, though), but worst of it all, undesired and unrequired! If that ice cream would be required or desired, not so much of it would be found wasted in the plates at the end of the parties!

By falling into next empty space, I was talking of the same opportunism, but manifesting itself differently. Flattery, imitation and insincere agreement. Others’ needs for praise and approval are like empty spaces, and on spotting an opportunity (availability) they can be filled! They can be filled instantly and effortlessly, only because this fluid is guided by a gradient. It does not have its own ideas or opinions (no shape), or probably does not value them enough. Does not have any attachments or committed loyalties (no place), and hence has nothing to lose when it goes and occupies the next available space.

This fluid comes in contact with a vast expanse of surfaces, always leaving a trace of wetness (good impression). But it itself never knew what it stood for or against. Its attraction for things (gravitation) was its only guiding force.

The structure called self is a composite of ideals, desires, opinions, tastes, distastes, preferences, and a conscience but most important, a recognition and subsequent acknowledgment of all of these. By surrendering them to the ‘demands’ of opportunity and availability, this structure collapses, and that is what I had meant by to fall, in fact the collapse of an identity called ‘self’ is so profound that all shapes and senses of location and direction are lost, whereas as a person grows, it is expected that they accumulate more ideas, ideals, opinions, loyalties and attachments (climbing).

By evaporation, I did not mean destruction or death, but a total loss of identity of the ‘self’.

Passively plastic. A passively plastic person also lets their ideas and opinions get shaped according to external forces. There is nothing wrong with allowing external ideas to shape one’s opinions, in fact, without the action of external forces, not many ideas can be formed. But when one holds them only to fit into a collective/communal identity, then they lose their own ideas and aspirations. The identity of the individual is supplanted by the perceived identity of a community (mold). The driving force here is the willful assumption of a preformed, assembly-line-manufactured identity, even at the cost of losing one’s ‘real’ native identity, without a sense of remorse.

How is this deformation allowed, or rather sought?

Probably because the original shape was not loved enough? It did not receive assent from coexistence with a number larger than zero, that is, owing to being unique (‘one’)?

This can extend right from “a feminist needs to defend everything a female does” to “secular people have to side with the ‘minorities’”; from “doctors ‘should’ be dressed in formals” to “‘hip’ people ‘need’ to wear low-waist jeans”; from “you need to agree with everyone if you are broadminded” to “learn to say ‘whatevah’ if you are above the rest of petty people, and close to attaining ‘nirvana’ to firmly establish you do not care about their existence or their opinions”

Reactively plastic. This simply implies trying to be different from others. It does not matter if what I end up is different even from my ‘real’ self. The only priority is a need to stand out. To be a ‘trend-setter’, fully forgetting that trend would also be followed only by opportunists and those seeking the shelter of a collective, without ever respecting the very same shelter.

Rigid. This is what I need to personally guard myself against the most. I know what I want. I know what I like. But I also know, the world is not going to act according to my wishes. I will not the get the kind of education system I want. I will not get as friends, people as honest as I would want. I will not work at places whose ethics would be in alignment with mine.

Because all these systems are too rigid to yield. Whether they are more correct, or I, is a different matter. What matters is that their walls and my contours are incongruent.

And if I barge into these systems brazenly, unprepared, it will be me that would be hurt. Both physically and emotionally. Gradually, I will start giving up. What were originally my aspirations would no more remain so. What I used to find pleasurable, would turn into pain.

As an example, I find it extremely immoral to simply memorize some fact and write/mark that as an answer in exams, without understanding its cause or significance. It, according to me is nothing short of copying. What is the difference? How is not knowing and copying wrong, but not knowing and pretending to know, right?

But I need to survive. I cannot change the exam system according to my wishes. In its confines, memorizing, without understanding is alright, or maybe, also admirable.

That brings me to elasticity. Elasticity is not absolute deformability, which is actually plasticity, but an ability to return to its original shape. A rubber band is elastic not because it can be stretched, but because it can recoil back. So possibly, elasticity lies somewhere between two extremes of plasticity and rigidity.

Deformability would entail that I will need to compromise on occasions. To fit in, to survive, to make life fulfilling. But same time listening to my conscience, to let it pinch, to not silence it, which will remind me that I had betrayed the ‘self’–my ideals, original aspirations, which I had loved. All this because the circumstances (edges and corners) had forced me to change. But also to remember that choice of fitting in and compromising were both mine, and mine alone.

Important is to not drown my conscience in “It’s okay!”. To remember to not compromise the next time out of force of habit, or simply knowing that a simpler route exists.

So yes, elasticity is indeed deformable rigidity, and thus by default a moderate property between the two.

Self-love. This is the trickiest to define. To love the self, first, it is important to recognize the ‘self’. Self is the innermost desires, doubts, the knowledge of what I like, what I hate, what I want to do. And if possible, also ‘why’? But this assessment needs to be most honest. Most of what constitutes ‘self’, calls for some action or reaction, be it, lazing late till afternoon on a holiday or ‘fighting the system’. To understand that it is alright for those actions to be directed by the desires, but within such a framework that very same actions will not bring ‘me’ shame in my own eyes.

Ultimately all actions have to serve the upkeep of self-image. If I love my ‘self’, I will make a most honest assessment of it. If not, I will try to shield it from my own scrutiny, or to distort it. The moment I try to distort it, I know, there is something that I do not like. Either I try to change it, or accept it as my limitation/deficiency.

Loving the self does not amount to serve primal-most self-interest to the exclusion of anything that entails sacrifice for the good of someone else, which if seems ‘right’, and not doing so, ‘wrong’, then it is indeed congruent with my desire to somewhere make a change outside of ‘me’.

This might seem too mechanical way of living–the loving-the-self-part, but actually it still is the most spontaneous expression of the ‘self’, just that it passes from under a screen of introspection.

—–

A sinister, sadistic, half-asleep-from-previous-night’s-binge-examiner eyes neatly dressed, frightened, semi-prepared students of final year MBBS exam, standing before him in mock respect, but genuine awe, and thinks: WTF?

Neatly dressed, frightened, semi-prepared students of final year MBBS exam, standing in mock respect, but genuine awe, eye a sinister, sadistic, half-asleep-from-previous-night’s-binge-examiner, and think: WTF!

Examiner’s WTF? = Who to flunk? | Student’s WTF! = WTF!

States of Matter. State that matters.

Do not be so fluid. So fluid that you fall into the next empty space. No shape. No place. Existence defined only by gradients of availability. Never able to climb; only fall. You will spread yourself wide. You will spread yourself thin. And before you know it, you will evaporate into nothingness.

Do not be so passively plastic. So plastic that you always fit in and forget your own shape. Always wanting the rigid confines to define the contours of your being. You will fit in. You will not remain you.

Do not be so reactively plastic. Yes, plastic again. So plastic that you change shape the moment you see a mould. Only to not fit in. Letting the confines define the contours of your being–this time staying out. Before you know it, you will become the next unshapely thing. You might become the next mould. Only fluids and plastics will occupy you. You will forget your shape.

Do not be so rigid. So rigid that you want the confines to yield, to replicate the contours of your being. You might wish, but you will not succeed. Before you know it, the edges and corners will scrape off chunks of your own being. You will lose them forever. You will not remain you. If you wait for that perfect mould–the one made for you, it will never be made. You will always remain outside. Outside is only for lodging. Outside, you will not live.

Be elastic. Mostly fitting in. Sometimes comfortably. Sometimes uncomfortably. Fitting in, yet feeling where it hurts. Knowing where the edges poke the contours of your being. Remembering what shape you were the last time. Springing back into your shape, each time you come out. Choose the best mould, but it will not fit perfectly. It will hurt. Be prepared for that. If a mould is too convoluted, too constricting, remember, it is best to lodge outside. For inside, painful poking will overwhelm your senses. You might remain you. Life will not remain life.

That elasticity is self-love. Love yourself, and life will become the simplest it could. You will remain you. Life will remain life.

—
1. This is simply a summary of a lesson on how to live that I have learned. What you have learned could be different. If so, consensus need not be reached.

Continue here (click) to read the explanation.

Do I deserve pink chaddis?

*Chaddi is a word used interchangeably for “shorts” or “briefs/panties”.

This is a post I’ve been planning to do since long, because it was after a long time some event had made me introspect and analyze things with utmost depth possible, and yet leave me, possibly, without answer. Also, this post is going to be very, very frank. Everyone tends to push the innermost workings of their minds under the carpet. But quite the opposite of that, I’m going to reveal it as explicitly and plainly as possible. So, in certain ways this post is going to be EXPLICIT. So, the reader’s forbearance is requested. Also, I’ll try my best to set the sequence of my thoughts in an algorithm-like structure. So, it’d be easier to dissect it, and discuss the same.

First, I’ll have to tell something about myself to establish a proper context. As of now, I am preparing for postgraduate (PG) medical entrance exams, for which I’ve joined a particular coaching institute in a city different than the one indicated in my profile. I stay in a hostel, which consists mainly of other PG-aspirants just like me. We have a mess, where we have our meals, and at other times, it serves as the reading room.

Before I describe the very trivial incident, let me make it amply clear that the fact that I’m blogging about it, only implies that I’ve thought a lot over it. And I urge the reader to be patient, and specifically ask me where something that I try to explain remains unclear. This disclaimer is necessitated because I suspect apppreciable number of readers, if they read this post would be tempted to send me pink chaddis! But, I’m not giving my postal address!

There is this girl in the ladies’ hostel (just next to the hostel where I stay), owned by the same owner as my hostel, who attends the same coaching institute as me, but in a different batch and schedule. My interaction with her has been nil. And she uses the same reading room and the mess. This girl, as far as I’ve seen, interacts only with boys from her alma mater, which is in a different city from where I’ve been staying. And, I hadn’t taken any special notice of that fact, though it had registered in my mind. I wouldn’t think much about such issues, for simple reason–they don’t affect me, and moreover, there is fundamentally nothing wrong with that. Just that the event I’m about to describe made me think also about all this. As to what’s her opinion about other fellow female hosteliites to be not interacting with them at all, or conversely what do other female inmates think about her.

The incident was this: I had gone to the mess to have my lunch (I don’t study at that particular study room, but do so in my own hostel room), and I was at the table where the food is laid for us to help ourselves, the girl was ahead of me in a sort of short queue that was formed, and my gaze fell on her flank. And I felt such an intense revulsion that I turned away my gaze with disgust. What I saw was her exposed flank because of a triangular ‘side-cut’ in her shirt. The area exposed was more than 50 centimeter sqaured, with part of her innerwear’s elastic band visible. Now for those wondering how did I reach the magical figure of 50 cm², just think of a square of 10 cm sides (100 cm²), and cut it half at the diagonal.

Actually, for someone with perfectly normally working hormones like me, I should’ve stared on. My female readers might be disgusted by this suggestion. But then, I believe, I’m going to do full justice to all the moral considerations involved in this particular event, which is prototypical of what one gets to see day-in-and-day out. All this got over in a less than a second, and nor must have I turned away my head in a violent motion to draw anyone’s attention. Basically, no one around noticed what had happened.

But this got me thinking as to why did I feel disgusted, as afterall what she wears is entirely her prerogative.

I’ll make a few clarifications here, right at the outset:
1. I did not gossip about it with others.
2. I did not give her a ‘look’.
3. I would never think of harming her in anyway on account of what she chooses to wear.
4. If I were to ever interact with her, I’d do so with utmost courtesy that I would reserve for anyone I’d be talking to for the first time.

Of course, to clarify, her dress was in deed out of the ordinary for what other girls wear at this place, especially when coming to study or eat. Moreover, she herself had worn that dress for the first time, and to the extent I remember, she never had repeated it.

I drew this conclusion–‘she wanted to expose her flank and elastic band to draw attention to herself’. Of course, I’ll first try to address the concern as to why did I draw the above conclusion. I had an argument in my head in attempt to make maximum possible allowance for that girl.

Allowance 1: She must have not realized that the dress was revealing.

Answer: She has always been meticulously dressed even on other days, when she used to wear Salwar-Kameez. Most of the people when the buy their clothes, try them. This girl used to wear relatively costly dresses, and it was unlikely that she must have bought it from some street-side hawker and didn’t get and an opportunity to try it. Dressing is a skill, and she had been good at it, so it’s unlikely that even if in an unlikelier event that she did buy the said shirt from a roadside hawker, she wouldn’t know that the dress would be at least 7 to 8 cm short of the trouser’s waist.

Allowance 2: She must have dressed in a hurry.

Answer: Didn’t look like that. Her dress was well-ironed. Her hair wasn’t disheveled or anything, and she was taking her food quite leisurely, and also eating it equally leisurely.

Allowance 3: She must have been comfortable with that sort of dressing.

Answer: Possibly, yes. But that had got me thinking as to why we choose the kinds of dresses that we choose? We buy clothes such that they cover those parts of our bodies that we don’t want others to see, especially strangers. I wear a shirt/T-shirt whenever I move out or my room, for simple reason I’d feel embarrassed to allow others to see my bare chest and back, etc. Likewise, I wear trousers that cover my groin area completely! Sorry, couldn’t help it. Had to bring in the last example to clarify. So, I reached this conclusion that she did not mind revealing her flank and the elastic band of her innerwear.

Allowance 4: So what? What if she’s comfortable with revealing her flank and the elastic band? That does not establish intent to reveal.

Answer: When she must have bought that particular shirt, she must have had the option of buying one that did not reveal her flanks. It must have not been very difficult to buy a shirt that would be just 8 to 10 cm lower, and jeans that would be an inch or two higher. Afterall, all other days she had been wearing clothes that were not revealing in the same way. But yes, there is indeed a subtle difference between ‘not minding’ revealing and ‘wanting’ to reveal. How do I know it was the latter and not the former? I concede, this is difficult to answer. But, I’ll give an example. If at a tea stall, you order Pepsi, and the waiter comes and tells you they don’t have it, and offers you to have Coke instead, if you say, “Okay, alright!”, then, that’s what is ‘not minding’, but if you ask for Pepsi in the first place, then you ‘want’ Pepsi, and does not amount to ‘not minding’ it. So, I believe, this adequately establishes the intent to expose, so to say.

Allowance 5: Okays, so what if she wanted to reveal? How does it make me conc
lude that she wanted to draw attention?

Answer: This is most difficult to explain, but if I’ve to assume that she did not want to draw attention, how do I explain someone carefully choosing clothes that precisely are going to reveal one’s flanks and the elastic band? I could attribute random behavior to, maybe, a small child doing things on whim, like wanting to stand on a table and not wanting to climb down, or children of 2 to 3 years not willing to eat their food, but how do I do that for someone in their twenties? It’s either random impulse or it’s well planned attempt to draw attention. And considering her age, it was much likely to be the latter.

Allowance 6: Okay, so what if she chooses to wear revealing clothes? What’s my problem?

Answer: Nothing! Honestly, I have no problems with what she wears. What all I thought about the issue till that point, and for a few minutes beyond did not affect me in any way!

Now, I’ll point out a few things that people do. Do ask yourself if you find them disgusting or not:
1. Picking of nose in public
2. Scratching of groin (in public)
3. People making lousy noises while eating, or licking their fingers passionately while eating

Do you find all or any of the about disgusting?

Yes? What’s your problem?

But they disgusted you, right? Isn’t it precisely their prerogative to likewise to use their fingers, nose, mouth and other orifices the way they want to?

No, but honestly, what I saw about that girl disgusted me beyond reasons involved in above three examples.

Now I will try to explain, why.

The other three examples I gave–what do they tell us about the people concerned? That they are coarse, possibly unhygienic, inconsiderate of others’ attention, and lack a sense of aesthetics.

But why did I feel more disgusted at that girl?

Because that attitude is representative of things fundamentally so wrong with any human being. Picture this:

You’re talking with someone. Possibly, the person is talking something grave, and a part of you wants that person to be distracted by you if of the opposite gender, or if the same gender, to be envious of you! This is hypocrisy of highest kind. Not being truthful to oneself, as well as to one’s present. Also, such a person is living their life on others’ terms, wanting their approval. And approval from any random person, not specifically the people they themselves value.

I have to make many more clarifications. I’ll feel the same kind of disgust if I see someone trying to show off their knowledge out of context, or status or wealth. Or those saying “yes” all the time to please others. Or considering themselves as much worthy as gauged by just about anyone. All these things have one thing common to them–lack of truthfulness to oneself, a lack of certain kind of straightforwardness. Honestly, I wouldn’t have disrespect for someone plainly going and asking someone–“Do you think I’m attractive enough?” What I don’t like is the subliminal influencing through any means. At a much larger scale, it’s the same kind of hypocrisy that makes our politicians do things subversive to the interests of the country in name of benefit to one ‘community’ or the other. Also, how little or high is the chance that persons not averse to wearing revealing clothes to attract attention of just about anyone, wouldn’t do so at the workplace to get promotions, or colleges to get extra marks (something I’ve myself noticed happening)? Is this honorable? Of course, the one giving into such distractions and extending undue favors would be deserving of same blame of indulging in immorality (click).

But, what had really agitated me was that once there was a spat between one of the coordinators of our coaching institute and the owner of the hostel regarding quality of the food served, and coincidentally, when the aforementioned girl was present their, she had been labeled as “characterless” by the hostel owner, because she had been going out alone with guys at night on walk. I was really disgusted by the owner. Afterall, he had no right to interfere with her personal life, who she moved out with, what all she did, and I too had made all the right noises as to how, the girl is a mature, grown up adult, and it was very, very mannerless of the owner to have said that. But a part of me was wondering, did I not also conclude the same thing a month back (then)? That was my hypocrisy. To have something with utmost verbal strength, but just half strength of actual conviction behind those words. And quite obviously, the girl left the hostel to live elsewhere in some days.

Some more clarifications:

1. I never felt even once that owning to her dressing, she deserved to be badmouthed, or eve teased, or molested.

2. I think a saree can be much more revealing than what she was wearing, if so intended by the one wearing.

3. I’m no fan of idea of “preservation of culture”, something I might discuss in one of my coming posts. I’ve not even mentioned the Indian culture perspective above.

4. What all I’ve analyzed for the above girl applies to males, as well as to all other spheres of life.

5. I’d try my best to not be judgmental about the girl, if were to have any interaction with her. But, my above conclusions will definitely weigh heavily on me. If I find her a nice, upright person otherwise, I’d really be forced to do a rethink on my criteria for judging people. Maybe, I’d try to know her better, and understand, why would she like to wear those kind of clothes, which would make people notice only the superficial aspects of her personality, and maybe, not value her emotions, thoughts, words, deeds, or innovative ideas? But on the whole, in my life, whenever I’ve tried too hard to make allowances for others’ acts that I would find objectionable, I’ve ended up on the wrong side of judgment, meaning, those people have indeed turned out to be unreliable and opportunistic.

The crux of this post is, if someone has right to wear whatever they want, or behave however they like, I have equal right to draw conclusions about them. Of course, I don’t have any right to impose my beliefs on them. And such conclusions are bound to have bearing on how generous would I be with them, or how sympathetic I’d feel if they’re troubled. And most important, how much would I respect them as fellow humans.