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Don’t get excited my dear reader. The preceding paragraph doesn’t contain my password for any account. Maybe just the username for a few kinky sites, but then it’s my private matter, and it’d be a bit coarse on your part to take excessive interest in that aspect. I’ve addressed your cluelessness in what follows.

I’m truly not obsessed with the traffic that my blog generates; just a tad curious, maybe, and check it once in a few hours. See the widget on the right in the sidebar.

The widget lets me know of who visited me from which place and also what website led them to my obscure blog.

It’s interesting to note that sometimes people who visit my blog belong to places I’d never heard of!

Once in a while, it’s google search that leads them here. And then I click on the link that would’ve led them here. It enables me to know what ‘search terms’ also present on my blog led the visitor to this Neglected Serendipity.

One such search that led the visitor to my review of ‘Jawani Diwani’ was this, and I was like w*at t*e FUCK! How could someone search for *that* thing! And my blog was second in the listing! 😦

But that also got me to bend my back neck to make my brain do a bit of *lateral* thinking, and think up how I could increase my blog’s traffic.

I’d read a few years back that the most searched term on the net is a three-lettered-word–***

Assuming old habits die hard and also that some people would never learn how to search for what they actually want on Google, I’m sure that still that-three-lettered-word must be one of the, if not, the most searched term. So, if I fill a post or two with only that word and also with the same title, my blog would generate a lot of babies traffic.

But then, I’m not an obsessed populist, and that I don’t want my blog to be visited by just about any lecher, made me decide against using that word in that manner.

But still am just wondering how to make my blog look more sexed up!

Any suggestions?

31 thoughts on “***

  1. Ok so you did use it finally!!! Lol…

    It’s really funny what people search and what they get!

    Did u see my post about google? Chk it out.

  2. I agree. lol.

    Instead of doing so much hard work, you can view such information about your blog at alexa.com.

    Even I was surprised how some ppl landed up after searching weird stuff at Google.

    Don’t be surprised if ppl from godforsaken places visit your site. Often, these are search engines or feedfetchers. They have no meaning.

    I dont know how the word, ‘kaamwali bai’ leads to my blog! lol!

  3. @Rakesh: which particular post are you referring to? Could you please paste the link here, prefereably in the
    ‘ text ‘‘ format so that it’d be easier for me to view it? And of course, I was dying to use it. 😉

    @Aniruddha: well, the widget indeed correlates with where the people come from.

    And am not sure if alexa provides even that info. But I’ve yet to see the statistics of my blog on alexa.

    And people search for ‘kaamwali bai’? Amazing! And that leads them to your blog? Atleast, ‘hairy armpits’ and ‘Celina jaitley’ both the words were there in my post.

    But LOL, indeed!

    @TJ: Thanks 😉

  4. Officially welcome to the blog, truth and lies!

    Well, I don’t mind pushing viagra down my blog’s throat, but she’s not opening her mouth! What to do 😦

    And though viagra may prove to be of use in females, am not sure if it’s approved for use in them.

    The problem is I want to sex up my blog, but she herself doesn’t want to be screwed. 😦

    BTW, I’ve commented on your blog.

    Thanks for the suggestion, but I look forward to more!

    TC.

  5. As a doctor, you can write an article on sex education maybe.

    Nobody would be able to raise a finger.

    If they do raise a finger, and it happens to be the middle one, you blog will be even more ‘sexed up’ ;). Cos I know google also picks up the words in comments.

  6. Stupidosaur, the problem with provision of sex education is, I myself haven’t received any! 😦

    But yes, I don’t mind being a’ quack-quack! Afterall there’s no difference between a ‘loud duck’ and a ‘loud fuck’ typing from my cell phone with T9 mode on!

    The relation seems far fetched? Welcome to my blog! 😉

    What do you think of my naming my blog–‘sexy serendipitous sex’? You see, it has alliteration!

    TC.

  7. Hmm, I’m not really sure how you should ‘hype’ (hahah) your blog a bit more, but maybe having a couple of posts just randomly containing that three letter word? A couple of weeks ago someone landed up on my blog just by searching the word, badreeah. It was totally random.
    Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting! 🙂 Hopefully you will come back again.

    -Laila
    http://www.randomweavings.blogspot.com

  8. Hi Laila!

    And welcome to my blog!

    Thanks for your suggestion, but the problem is I can’t be random and restrained; once I start, whatever it be, I can’t stop 😉

    And I’ll definitely visit your blog with a frequency depending on how randomly do you insert certaing random words in your random posts. 😛

    Take care.

  9. I have a little experience about traffic to my blog rising due to some stuff I wrote. What made the most effect was my post (2 posts actually) about a radio jockey.
    When we google his name, his own site appears nowhere on the first page of search results, but my blog is the 2nd and 3rd result.

    A review about the spiciest happenings would also attract people to this page… which I think needs a 3-column template to properly accomodate all the elaborate and excess stuff in the sidebar!!

  10. @Shiwuz: thanks and welcome to the blog! And joke was not light for my blog, a respectable lady that she is. People come here for hairy armpits! And that too for Celina Jaitley’s! Is that a joke? But then that’s how people are–always looking for things at ectopic places. 😦

    @Shruti: Thanks for the suggestion! A welcome to you, too. Yes, I’d been searching for a good three-columned template so that I could turn my blog into a page-3 column! TC.

  11. Well its more to do with how google (any search engine – though msn and yahoo don’t give much importance to blogger it seems) indexes and ranks pages more than anything. You might find your blog appearing for very random things because the search query words are actually words on your blog but in very many different posts maybe.

    You should check out Google Trends and Google Hot Trends which give top search words (filtered to remove adult words) everyday if you want to know what are popular topics to write on. But of course if the topic is one that is highly competitive, it’s probably you will get indexed for it but will rank very long.

    Indexed is basically you will show up in google search results on the term / word (somewhere or the other).

    Ranking is the actual placement of your URL in the search result.

  12. Deepali, Deepali, Deepali!

    Thanks a lot for that info. I’ll surely try to go through those pages. I see, you’re very knowledgeable about internet trends and advertising (I’d been to your other blog; but found it quite technical, so didn’t comment).

    But, but, but, I was also trying to joke through this post (except that I’m not very obsessed with the traffic to my blog, and that someone actually landed on my blog with those search terms). 😀

    Thanks, again!

    TC.

  13. Haha my sense of humour can totally suck but a lot of people do look to increase traffic to their blogs and monetize all that traffic. But anyway if for nothing else, it’s sometimes fun to see how people do find you (like I was wondering how you found my blog and I can only guess its through comments I have left on someone elses blog). I use Google Analytics to figure it out (mainly cause I need(ed) to know the tools for work – haven’t logged on in months though) and since you are not obsessed with the traffic to your blog, I am not going to recommend it to you 😛 (it does give more data like average time spent, number of pages visited, etc)

    Ya that blog of mine is suppose to work like a ‘resume’ or at least add on to a resume. Some posts are very generic but most will be technical or themed around giving specific info.

  14. Honestly Deepali,

    I’d tried to get my blog monetized, but Google hasn’t approved. I don’t know for what reasons.

    Also, I do like people commenting on my blog, but it’s not the numbers that count. I don’t find much pleasure in perfunctory remarks and shallow display of affection exactly as I’ve tried to convey in my pre-comments message to the readers. I do like a real interaction, where there’s some genuine exchange of views and knowledge, and that’s why I’d commented on your blog, and that’s why I’d be glad to have your comments on my other posts if they interest you, and subject to your finding time.

    Thanks!

    TC.

  15. 🙂 I got rejected by Google AdSense too but well I don’t get many readers – so no question of monetizing anything – it was just to learn more about the program 🙂

    I agree that blogs and commenting should be a way of communication (though I like numbers too 😉 but yeah silly comments don’t really satisfy)

    Will be reading your other posts but you might end up seeing comments only every few weeks apart 🙂 I have all the time in the world but usually go to a blog once every few weeks – read 3-4 posts at a go.

    Btw you aren’t know as ‘Karnav’ sometimes are you?

  16. Deepali,

    First, sorry for the delayed response. Somehow, had missed your above comment.

    I’m not sure, though, looks like Google people have stopped accepting new applications.

    If you want, you could get more readers on blogs that you find interesting simply by commenting on them. You could refer the bloggers to your posts that would be relevant to the one you’d have read.

    And, Karnav is a very interesting name, but no, I don’t go by that name. If for some reasons, if you like that name a lot, you could call me that! 😉

    TC.

  17. Naah got no affinity to the name or anything. Just that I met a Karnav Panchal recently (online poker) who was also just ending his studies as a doctor and funny thing is ‘God’ turned up very soon in the conversation some 3 – 4 of us were having on the table. So it seemed to be quite co-incidental.

  18. Deepali,

    Though, I’m good at being poker-faced, card games have somehow never caught my fancy!

    That’s a curious coincidence! He seemed to be an atheist, too? My parents never told me of a long-lost brother. Now, I’ll have to ask them properly. 😉

    TC.

  19. Haha naah he had the exact opposite point of view – I think the line was like ‘If there was no suffering how would be remember God’ and I couldn’t make out if it was sarcastic or not but I think it wasn’t.

    Reading Residua – hehe it’s LONG but interesting. If it wasn’t this long 3 – 4 posts would have been done already 😉

  20. Yeah, doesn’t look like he was being sarcastic. And my parents *emphatically* denied any knowledge of a long-lost brother. 😉

    So embarked on reading ‘Residua’. LOL. Won’t disturb you. Yeah, you’re right, the story’s equivalent to about 4 posts of mine, and maybe fifty posts of yours. 😛

    I think you can try 55-fiction. See the sidebar for tags with 55-fiction, if you don’t know what it is.

    TC.

  21. This certainly is among your best posts (probably the best), both in terms of contents and style.

    However, this post seems to be an antithesis of your pink chaddis (atleast in part).

    It was funny, interesting, honest, cynical and a bit ruthless (yet true) take on reality.

    Cheers

  22. Sai,

    Thanks! It was partly all of what you mentioned, but the greatest driving factor do me to write this post was pure amusement at what all people search for, and that too could lead them to my placid blog!

    Well, in terms of humor, this is definitely not my best post (though, I accept your praise). Your opinion might change if you read ‘Educational post’ (click) and ‘Insanity personified’ (click). Though, the latter would take a lot of time to read, but the former, just 2 min. 🙂

    TC.

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