My Bull O’ Sophy

As the description of my blog suggests there’ve been many times that my feeling of knowing everything about life’s been proved incorrect. But that’s not to mean my feeling had been totally unfounded. I’ve indeed learnt a lot in life, and so today I share my pearls er… dollops of wisdom with you (a minuscule pearl, I realize can’t do justice to the amount of wisdom you’ll find in what follows). I’m sure following these dollops of free flowing wisdom will help you realize all the dreams of your sadistic and jealous neighbors:

1. To err is human;
To blunder is woman;
To forgive is divine;
To help you forgive is wine; sip…gulp…guzzle…
To ruminate is bovine…

2. Where there is a will there is a way; where there is no will there is a family feud.

3. Necessity is the mother of all inventions; Edison was the neighbor.

4. A bird in hand is better than the two in a bush. Now stop beating around the bush, ok?

5. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Hell, no! Wait! Don’t eat that apple! You’re supposed to throw it. No, I mean not throw away. Throw it at the doctor, I say! Yes, like that. Did you enjoy that? One apple is just a convenient suggestion, you can throw more if you enjoy it. [Sigh] I understand it’s very cumbersome going to your doctor’s clinic everyday and throwing those apples. If you want to do away with the trouble of daily dosing, try coconuts, oh, I mean coconut.

6. When the going gets tough, the tough get going by hook or by crook.

7. Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration. So, strike the iron when the weather is hot.

8. Whatever could not break me, made me stronger. Whatever I tried to become stronger, made me broke.

9. God helps those who help themselves. Watch out when you dine next.

10. Practice makes a man perfect, and a woman, pregnant.

11. Birds of a feather flock together. Birds of different feathers don’t flock together. Common sense, man! But sometimes, birds of different feathers may also flock together, if they’ve got really nothing better to do.

12. A friend in need is a…total liability. Just steer clear.

Well, that’s not all. I have no dearth of wisdom. I have truckloads of that in store for you. Let me see the positive effects of my life-coaching on your life…yeah, yeah, on your jealous and sadistic neighbor’s life. I’d love to hear from you the moving stories of how my words could turn around your life. Every respondent gets a customized pearl of wisdom, absolutely for free (??)!